Our therapist, Ben has extensive experience working with men from adolescence to later adulthood. He has developed a specialization in Men’s Issues that will be a focus of his clinical work at Evolve Counseling Services in addition to working with clients who are dealing with depression and anxiety. Below is a summary of how Ben approaches therapy with men:
1. We will talk like regular people: Men often speak in ways that are down to earth and to the point. No need for vague, flowery statements. I always thought of what I do as just a sincere conversation between everyday people, no different than friends catching up during a lunch break. Humor is often a part of my time with people. Not everything needs to be serious and learning to laugh at something is often good for us.
2. Keep it practical: Men often think in practical, cause and effect terms. When our car breaks down we don’t “feel” like the head gasket is blown, we understand the mechanical relationships between all of the parts and see what isn’t working. Problem solving for personal challenges are no different. It will be obvious how any tools used in therapy can make your situation better.
3. A hyper-focus on emotion is not essential: Two common stereotypes about therapy. 1.) Therapy works by being intensely in touch with your emotions. 2.) You have to talk about the hardest and most personal things in your life for therapy to work. Let’s address these. A high emotional focus may work for some people but there are so many more options to improve your life that don’t involve intense connection with feeling or dwelling on the past.
4. Talk about what you want to: Your time in therapy is just that, YOURS! I’m here to help you with the projects that you want to tackle. No need to talk about things that are too personal. I’m not here to “fix” you for someone else. I’m in your corner. Period.
5. An understanding of men’s issues: It is statistically supported that men do face unique challenges. For example, men more commonly receive threats of physical violence, work dangerous jobs, and spend more time away from family for work. Being a man has its benefits and burdens but the fact that men are facing such daunting challenges speaks volumes to our nature and implies we experience stress unique to us. Not only have I taken the time to understand what is unique to men, but I have lived much of it myself.
If you are interested in addressing Men’s Issues and working with Ben in therapy, we’d love to chat with you. Please give our office a call, and we can discuss further.