We all deal with anxiety. Whether it’s a big test, a work deadline, or just the chaos of daily life, stress and worry are part of being human. And when that anxiety creeps in, we naturally look for ways to cope. The problem? Not all coping mechanisms are good for us.
Some of the ways we handle stress might feel like a quick fix but actually make things worse in the long run. Let’s talk about the unhealthy coping mechanisms that can do more harm than good—and what you can do instead to actually help yourself feel better.
1. Drowning Your Stress in Alcohol or Drugs
Grabbing a drink (or something more substantial) might seem like an easy way to take the edge off. But using alcohol or drugs to cope with anxiety is like putting a tiny Band-Aid on a deep wound—it doesn’t fix anything, and it often leads to bigger problems. Why does drinking not work?
- Alcohol is a depressant, which means it can actually make anxiety worse over time.
- Substance abuse can quickly spiral into dependency.
- Hangovers and withdrawal make stress levels even higher.
According to the National Institute on Drug Abuse, long-term alcohol use can actually increase anxiety and depression rather than relieve it (NIDA link). If you need to unwind, try exercise, meditation, or even venting to a trusted friend. A good workout or deep breathing can give you quick relief without the nasty side effects of drinking.
2. Avoiding the Problem Altogether
Have you ever ignored something stressful, hoping it would magically go away? Yeah… it doesn’t work. Avoidance might give you temporary relief, but in the long run, it just fuels more anxiety. Why can’t we just run away?
- Problems don’t disappear when you ignore them.
- The longer you avoid something, the more stressful it feels when you do have to deal with it.
- Avoidance can turn into a habit, making anxiety even more challenging to manage.
Face your stressors in small steps. If making a phone call gives you anxiety, start by writing down what you want to say. If a task seems overwhelming, break it into smaller pieces. Tackling things bit by bit helps you build confidence over time.
3. Eating Your Feelings (Or Not Eating at All)
Anxiety and food have a complicated relationship. Some people stress-eat an entire pizza; others lose their appetite completely. Neither extreme is good for your body or mind. So why should we eat consistently instead?
- Overeating can cause guilt, sluggishness, and physical discomfort.
- Undereating can leave you weak, irritable, and even more anxious.
- Both habits can mess with your metabolism and overall health.
Rather than mindlessly snacking or skipping meals, try to nourish your body with balanced meals. Eating whole foods like proteins, veggies, and healthy fats can stabilize your mood and energy levels.
4. Overworking Yourself
If you throw yourself into work every time you feel stressed, you’re not alone. Many people use work as an escape. But at some point, overworking stops being productive and starts becoming a problem. Why can’t you just work till it’s gone?
- Burnout is real. Constantly working can exhaust your mind and body.
- You are a limited resource
- It keeps you from dealing with emotions in a healthy way.
- It can harm your personal life, leaving you isolated and disconnected.
Set work boundaries! Give yourself designated break times, stop checking emails at night, and make space for hobbies and relaxation. Taking time off makes you more productive in the long run.
5. Retail Therapy (a.k.a. Spending Your Problems Away)
A little online shopping spree feels like a pick-me-up—until you check your bank account. Buying things impulsively can be a temporary distraction, but it doesn’t fix what’s actually making you anxious. Why can’t we just buy whatever we see?
- Can lead to financial stress, which creates more anxiety.
- Doesn’t actually solve any emotional issues.
- Can become a compulsive habit.
Next time you feel the urge to buy something to feel better, pause. Ask yourself: Do I really need this, or am I just trying to escape my feelings? Try journaling those thoughts and feelings, meditating, or going out for a walk instead.
6. Technology Overload
Scrolling social media, binge-watching shows, or endlessly gaming might seem like easy ways to escape stress. But too much screen time can actually make anxiety worse. How does something you love make things worse?
- Social media can make you compare yourself to others, which can increase anxiety.
- Binge-watching or gaming for hours can throw off your sleep schedule.
- Too much tech use can leave you disconnected from real-life relationships.
Set screen limits. Try a “phone-free” hour before bed or spend more time doing offline activities like reading, crafting, or going outside.
7. Lashing Out at Others
When anxiety builds up, it can come out as anger or frustration toward the people around us. Whether it’s snapping at a friend or picking a fight with a partner, taking stress out on others only makes things worse. What are the consequences of lashing out?
- It damages relationships.
- It doesn’t actually resolve your stress.
- It can make you feel guilty afterward, adding to the anxiety cycle.
When you feel like you’re about to explode, pause. Take deep breaths, step away, or journal your feelings before reacting. Talking things out calmly is always better than blowing up in the moment.
8. Self-Harm (Including Negative Self-Talk)
Self-harm isn’t just about physical pain—negative self-talk and self-sabotage are forms of harm too. Telling yourself you’re not good enough or punishing yourself for mistakes only feeds anxiety.
- It creates a toxic cycle of self-blame.
- It doesn’t address the root cause of anxiety.
- It lowers self-esteem over time.
Dr. Kristin Neff, a leading researcher on self-compassion, says: “Treat yourself with the same kindness and support as you would a good friend.” (Source)—practice self-compassion. Speak to yourself like you would a person you care about. Instead of saying, I’m terrible at this, try, I’m doing my best, and that’s enough. Small mindset shifts make a big difference.
What You Should Do Instead
So, what are some actually helpful ways to manage anxiety?
Move Your Body – Exercise releases feel-good chemicals that help lower stress levels. In Colorado, we have the opportunity to go outside and embrace the beauty that surrounds us, and with the air being clean and the mountains and lakes being all around us, we can take a short walk and find that even that helps us to refocus our minds.
Talk to Someone – Vent to a close friend, family member, or therapist. Getting things off your chest makes a difference.
Practice Deep Breathing – Simple breathing exercises can calm your nervous system fast. Box breathing is a great start and something you can do on your own.
Get Creative – Try painting, writing, or playing music to process emotions in a positive way.
Prioritize Sleep – Poor sleep makes anxiety worse. Stick to a consistent sleep schedule figuring what your routine needs to look like so you can get yourself settled and in bed at a decent time and limiting screen time before bed.
Journal It Out – Writing about your feelings helps make sense of them and reduce their intensity. This is also helpful because as you write, what helps you begin the muscle memory as well as the ability to go back and look at what helped in the past and hopefully process those feelings.
Seek Professional Help – Therapy isn’t just for crises. Talking to a professional like Lindsey Phillips, LPC, and Ben Smith, LPC, at Evolve Counseling Fort Collins can help you build lifelong coping skills. Working with specialists in using CBT can be a great way to treat your anxiety. This treatment focuses on retraining the brain to think more positively when it seems we can’t stop the thoughts from coming.
Final Thoughts
Dealing with anxiety is tough, but you don’t have to do it in ways that hurt you in the long run. Recognizing unhealthy coping habits is the first step. The next? Replacing them with healthier choices that actually help you feel better.
If you’re struggling with anxiety and need support, Evolve Counseling Services is here to help. Whether you’re a college student at CSU or just someone trying to manage stress, we offer therapy in Fort Collins and online across Colorado. Reach out today—we’d love to help you find healthier ways to cope!
