Talking to your parents about anything mental-health-related can feel awkward. Now throw in the word therapy, and suddenly you’re treading through a minefield of cultural stigmas, generational gaps, and personal pride.
So how do you even begin?
Whether your parent has been acting more withdrawn lately, showing signs of anxiety or depression, or just seems like they’re struggling to adjust to a major life change, you may be wondering if therapy could help, and how to gently bring up the idea without making things worse.
We are here to help guide you through that conversation with empathy, patience, and just the right amount of honesty.
First, Why Might Your Parent Need Therapy?
Getting older isn’t just about slowing down physically. A lot changes emotionally and mentally, too. Therapy isn’t just for people in crisis—it’s for anyone navigating major life transitions or who wants someone unbiased to talk to. And for aging parents, that could mean:
Retirement
After decades of working, suddenly not having somewhere to be every morning can be a shock. A lot of people get their sense of identity and purpose from their jobs. Without that structure, they may feel lost, useless, or unsure what to do next.
Health Struggles
As we age, we don’t bounce back the same way. Maybe your parent’s mobility has changed, or they’ve had to stop doing hobbies they used to love. That kind of shift can make someone feel helpless or even embarrassed to ask for assistance.
Grief
Losing friends, siblings, or a spouse is devastating, and unfortunately, much more common with age. The grief can be deep and ongoing, especially when it stacks up.
You might start noticing changes even if they’re not saying anything out loud. They’re quieter, more irritable, not leaving the house much, or just not seeming like themselves. These are all possible signs it’s time to talk.
Understand Where They’re Coming From
Your parent didn’t grow up in the world of self-care, mental health apps, and #TherapyIsCool Instagram posts. For many older adults, therapy still carries a lot of stigma. In some families or cultures, talking about your feelings was seen as weak or unnecessary. “Just deal with it” or “Suck it up” might’ve been the motto they were raised with.
“Seeking help is a sign of strength and self-awareness, not weakness. However, cultural barriers often shape how mental health is perceived and addressed.” -Dr. Cynthia Catchings, LCSW-S
So when you bring up therapy, it might not land the way you intend. They could feel insulted, ashamed, or confused. That’s why the way you approach the subject really matters.
This isn’t about forcing them into something they’re not ready for. It’s about opening a door. And sometimes, the first step is just getting them to peek through it. This especially doesn’t mean that the first time you mention it, they will jump on in and go. It might be a process spanning weeks, months, and even years of slow introduction and conversation.
When Is the Right Time to Talk?
Timing is everything. Don’t bring it up in the middle of a family gathering or when everyone’s having a great time. That’s a surefire way to get brushed off, or worse, cause embarrassment.
Look for quiet, low-stress moments:
- A walk around the neighborhood
- A calm car ride
- A relaxed dinner at home
- A phone call when you’re both free to talk
Make sure they’re in a decent mood and not already dealing with something frustrating. You want them to feel open, not defensive.
What Should You Actually Say?
One simple tip: Use “I” statements, not “you” statements.
Instead of:
“You’ve been acting really angry lately. You need to get help.”
Try:
“I’ve noticed you seem a little more on edge than usual. I’ve been feeling concerned and just wanted to check in. Is everything okay?”
This keeps the conversation from feeling like an attack and instead opens the door for empathy and connection.
Once you’ve gently brought it up, you can follow their lead. If they’re open to talking, great. If they shut it down, that’s okay, too. You’re planting a seed, not demanding a fix.
How Do I Explain the Benefits of Therapy?
If they’re unsure what therapy actually is, or think it’s just “talking about your feelings,” take a second to explain what it can actually help with:
- Managing sadness, anger, or stress
- Adjusting to big life changes
- Processing grief
- Building routines and finding purpose again
- Learning coping tools for hard days
Let them know therapy isn’t about “fixing” them. It’s about giving them support, guidance, and a place where they don’t have to feel like a burden.
And if you’ve had personal experience with therapy, consider sharing a little about it. Not every detail, just enough to show that it’s nothing to be ashamed of. You might say something like:
“I saw a therapist last year when I was going through some stuff. It really helped me understand myself better and sort through everything I was feeling. I think it could help you too.”
If they know you found value in it, they might be more open to the idea.
Make it Easy For Them
Another reason older adults hesitate to try therapy? It just sounds complicated. Help them take that pressure off.
Offer to:
- Research local therapists who might be a good fit
- Look up whether online sessions are available so they can stay in the comfort of their home(Evolve Counseling in Fort Collins, for example, offers both in-person and virtual options!)
- Help with scheduling an appointment
- Drive them to their first session if needed
The easier you make it, the less intimidating it becomes. Therapy doesn’t have to be some big ordeal, it can just be a 45-minute conversation in a quiet room (or on a screen) with someone trained to help them feel better.
And remind them, it’s their choice. They can try one session. If they don’t like the therapist, they can try another. Nothing is permanent. They are in control.
What If They Say No?
This is a possibility, and it’s okay. Therapy can’t be forced. If they’re not ready, they’re not ready. But that doesn’t mean you’ve failed.
Here’s what you can do instead:
- Keep checking in on them
- Go on walks together and ask how they’re doing
- Just listen without trying to solve everything
- Encourage other healthy habits (routine, hobbies, connection)
Your support alone can make a huge difference. And by continuing to show up, you keep that door to therapy slightly cracked open for the future.
Also, remember, your tone and energy in these conversations really matters. The goal is connection, not correction.
Therapy Is a Sign of Strength
This might be one of the most powerful messages you can share. Therapy doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means you’re brave enough to grow.
Let your parent know that seeking help is not a weakness, it’s an act of courage. It’s not just about “talking”, it’s a science-backed process (like CBT, cognitive behavioral therapy) that can help people change unhelpful thinking patterns, build resilience, and feel better.
If they’re a person who likes logic and facts, feel free to look up research or share stats about therapy’s effectiveness especially CBT and its proof of being tested and proven to help. But also remind them, it’s not about science. It’s about feeling better and not having to go through life alone.
Final Thoughts: You’re Not Alone in This
Bringing up therapy with a parent can feel awkward, emotional, or even a little scary, but it can also be the start of something really healing, for them and for your relationship.
Lead with love. Speak with patience. And remember, just opening the conversation shows how much you care.
If you’re not sure how to start or want support figuring out what to say, we’re here to help.
At Evolve Counseling Services in Fort Collins, Colorado, we regularly work with people navigating these same kinds of conversations. Whether it’s your mom, dad, or even yourself who needs a little extra support, our experienced therapists are ready to help.
Lindsey Phillips, LPC, and Ben Smith, LPC offer both in-person and online sessions for adults, college students, and teens (16+). With over fifteen years experience each, they bring a compassionate, down-to-earth approach to therapy—helping clients work through anxiety, depression, grief, life transitions, and more.
If your parent is ready—or even just thinking about it—we’ll help guide them every step of the way.
You don’t have to do this alone. Reach out to us today. Let’s take that first step together.
