Let’s be real, change is weird. One minute you’re cruising through life on autopilot, the next you’re staring down a totally different version of your world, wondering how you got there. Even little changes—like your favorite coffee shop moving locations or your go-to shampoo getting discontinued—can throw us off more than we’d like to admit.
Recently, our office at Evolve Counseling Services moved to a new location. While the new space is beautiful and fresh, it still got me thinking about how even good change takes some adjusting. Around the same time, I noticed pumpkin spice lattes made their annual comeback—because, of course, nothing screams “seasonal shift” like overpriced cinnamon foam. That combo of events (office move + PSL sighting) got me reflecting on how often change happens and how often we don’t feel ready for it.
We talk about change all the time like it’s some empowering buzzword—“Embrace the change!” “Change is growth!” But the truth? Change often comes with anxiety, stress, and a lot of uncomfortable feelings we don’t always know how to handle.
So… Why Do We Hate Change So Much?
Let’s start there. Why do we resist change, even when we know it might be good for us?
I casually asked some friends and coworkers this question and the answers were spot-on:
- Change feels unpredictable—we like to know what’s coming next.
- It messes with our sense of control.
- We thrive on routine. Even if it’s not ideal, it’s familiar.
- Consistency brings comfort.
- There’s always some risk involved—what if this new thing turns out worse?
Bottom line? Change makes us feel vulnerable. And for most of us, vulnerability = discomfort = “nope, I’m good, thanks.”
But the thing is, change is part of life. Whether we like it or not, it’s happening. Constantly. So instead of trying to outrun it, what if we worked on changing our mindset around it?
Flip the Script: Reframing Change as Opportunity
Here’s a truth that might take a second to sink in: change doesn’t have to be scary. It can be the start of something really amazing. A fresh chapter. A second chance. A new direction.
It all starts with a reframe. You can choose to focus on fear and uncertainty, or you can view change as a chance to grow, to explore, to reset.
And sure, that’s easier said than done. So let’s break it down. Here are some practical ways to start feeling less overwhelmed and more grounded when life throws a curveball.
1. Zoom In—Focus on the Short Term
When you start thinking too far ahead, your brain will absolutely go down a rabbit hole of worst-case scenarios. That’s normal. But it’s also not helpful.
Instead, focus on what’s right in front of you. What do you need to get through today? Make a short list of tasks, nothing fancy. Things like “eat lunch,” “walk the dog,” or “respond to one email.” The goal is to remind yourself that you can take action, even if the bigger picture feels messy.
Sometimes, doing something small and manageable, like changing your sheets or going for a walk, gives your brain the dopamine boost it needs to tackle the harder stuff.
2. Find the Constants
When everything feels like it’s changing, it helps to zoom in on what hasn’t changed.
Think about the people you live with, your best friend who always texts back, your favorite hoodie, or the fact that you still brush your teeth every night. These things are your anchors.
Try this: start your morning by jotting down three things that haven’t changed and that you’re grateful for. It’s a gentle reminder that you’re not starting from zero.
3. Give Yourself Credit
Seriously, when’s the last time you took a second to pat yourself on the back?
We’re quick to criticize ourselves when we mess up, but not nearly as quick to celebrate the wins. So, make a habit of recognizing the things you are doing right.
Write them down, say them out loud, whatever works for you. Even something as simple as “I got out of bed today” or “I didn’t lose my cool when I wanted to” is worth acknowledging. Progress is progress.
4. Tweak Your Routine
If change has disrupted your normal schedule, that’s your cue to build a new one. Not a total overhaul, just small tweaks that help you regain a sense of stability.
Take a short walk in the morning. Add a 15-minute reading break before bed. Call a friend every Thursday night. These little rituals help your brain find calm in the chaos.
Bonus points if your new routine includes something you enjoy. That’s how we rewire the brain to associate change with good feelings, not just stress.
5. Practice Mindfulness (Even If You’re Bad at It)
Mindfulness doesn’t mean you need to sit cross-legged on a mountain in total silence. It just means paying attention to what is happening right now.
What are you doing? What do you see, hear, feel?
It’s easy to spiral when your brain is living in the future or stuck in the past. Mindfulness brings you back to the present, where you have the most control.
Start small: take five deep breaths and name three things around you. That’s it. You’re officially being mindful.
6. Watch Your Self-Talk
The way you talk to yourself matters—a lot. If you’re constantly saying things like “I’m behind,” “I suck at this,” or “Nothing ever works out for me,” your brain will start to believe it.
Try shifting that inner dialogue to something a little gentler:
“I’m doing my best.”
“I don’t have to figure everything out today.”
“I’ve gotten through hard stuff before—I can do it again.”
Also, sometimes life doesn’t go the way it was “supposed” to. That’s okay. There’s always a Plan B (or C or D).
7. Know Your Boundaries
It’s okay to say no. Really.
You don’t have to say yes to everything, especially if your energy is low or your gut is telling you something’s off.
At the same time, be honest with yourself about whether you’re saying no out of fear or self-protection. Change can feel uncomfortable even when it’s good. It’s all about balance. Don’t pressure yourself to do something you’re not ready for, but don’t sell yourself short either.
8. Get Help (Seriously—You Don’t Have to Do This Alone)
This one’s big. If you’re feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or unsure how to move forward, talk to someone.
A friend, a family member, or—if you’re ready for a deeper dive with proven techniques tailored to you—a therapist.
At Evolve Counseling Services, Lindsey Phillips, LPC, and Ben Smith, LPC are all about helping people navigate change using proven tools like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). We’ve spent years helping clients understand how their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are connected—and more importantly, how to shift those patterns when life gets tough.
CBT helps you recognize negative thought loops, challenge unhelpful beliefs, and build healthier ways of coping with stress. Whether you’re going through a breakup, a job change, a big move, or just feeling “off,” we’re here to help you find clarity and confidence.
We know change isn’t easy. But we also know it doesn’t have to wreck you.
Our team brings compassion, experience, and a down-to-earth approach to therapy—no judgment, no pressure, just real talk and tools that work.
Bottom line? Change is hard. But it’s not the enemy.
With the right mindset and support, you can face it with more peace, more resilience, and maybe even a little excitement.
So next time life flips the script on you, take a breath, lean into the moment, and remember: you’ve got this.
And if you don’t feel like you’ve got this yet? Call us. That’s what we’re here for.