Ever feel like life’s just… too much? Like you’re juggling a million things, and none of it feels quite right? Welcome to the quarter-life crisis — the modern version of that “what am I doing with my life?” meltdown, but for teens, 20-somethings, and even 30-somethings.
So, What Even Is a Quarter-Life Crisis?
If you’ve been feeling stressed, lost, or like everyone else has it all figured out, you’re not alone. Therapists are seeing this more and more — young adults feeling overwhelmed, stuck, or just plain anxious.
“As a culture, we all think that age 25 is the best stage of our life — these folks are happy, they’re doing everything they want and it’s a great time of life,” American Counseling Association (ACA) member Cyrus Williams told Counseling Today, a publication of the ACA. “We really need to acknowledge and not minimize this time period.” (source)
Here’s the deal: growing up was never easy. Everyone has to figure out how to break away from their parents, find their own path, and make plans for the future. That’s been true forever. But these days, there’s even more to stress about.
Think about it:
- Rent and college costs are sky-high
- Social media makes it seem like everyone else is living their best life 24/7
- Then there’s the constant doom-scrolling about climate change, politics, and global tensions
Put it all together, and yeah, it’s no wonder young adults are feeling fried.
Why Am I Feeling Like This?
A quarter-life crisis can hit for a bunch of reasons. For some people, it’s about wondering, What’s the point of all this? For others, it’s feeling stuck in a job, stressed about their career, or worrying about never finding “the one.”
And honestly, there’s so much pressure to have it all figured out. Society tells us our 20s should be the best years of our lives, but it doesn’t feel that way for everyone. As we said before, The American Counseling Association even points out that the idea of a perfect, carefree life at 25 is totally unrealistic and unhelpful.
Surprisingly, quarter-life crises are just as common as midlife crises. Yep, you read that right. A study from British psychologists found that people in their 20s are just as likely to go through a major life crisis as middle-aged folks. (source)
So, What Triggers This Crisis?
It’s different for everyone, but here are some big ones:
- Job hunting and figuring out your career.
- Moving out and living on your own for the first time.
- Relationship drama
- Decisions that could have long term impacts
- Feeling like life isn’t going the way you thought it would.
- Not making the amount of money you thought you would be
Sometimes it’s one big event that shakes you up — like losing a job, going through a breakup, or moving to a new city. Other times, it’s a mix of little things that build up over time.
Fun fact: one study found that “work” is the word most connected to quarter-life crises. No surprise there, right? Work stress, toxic environments, and dead-end jobs can all feel super overwhelming.
Another study from 2024 shows that young people want financial independence so badly but are also terrified it might never happen.
Two Types of Quarter-Life Crises
Experts say there are two main types of quarter-life crises:
Locked-In Crisis
This is when you feel trapped in a life that doesn’t match who you really are. Maybe you’re stuck in a job that pays the bills but doesn’t make you happy. Or you’re in a relationship that isn’t working but don’t want to hurt anyone by ending it.
Locked-Out Crisis
This is when you feel like you can’t get what you want. Maybe it’s a job you can’t land, a relationship you haven’t found, or a dream that feels out of reach. Watching everyone else hit their milestones while you’re still stuck can be super tough.
How to Handle a Quarter-Life Crisis
Feeling like your life’s a mess doesn’t mean you’re failing. It just means you’re human. We want to share some ways to tackle this phase and come out stronger:
1. Take a Step Back
Pause and reflect. What actually makes you happy? What are your strengths, goals, and values? Are you living the life you want, or the one you think you’re “supposed” to want?
Write it down. Talk it out with a friend. Think about what you can change and what’s worth working toward.
2. Stop Comparing Yourself to Everyone Else
We all do it. You know when you’re in the bathroom scrolling Instagram or TikTok for way longer than you should and thinking, “Why is their life so perfect?” But here’s the funny thing is, it’s not. People show their highlight reels, not the messy behind-the-scenes.
Focus on your own journey. What works for someone else might not be right for you, and that’s okay.
3. Build Resilience
Life’s gonna throw curveballs. The key is learning how to bounce back. Try mindfulness, deep breathing, or even just making a list of things you’re grateful for. Taking care of your mental and physical health makes it easier to handle whatever comes your way.
4. Practice Self-Acceptance
Newsflash: nobody has it all figured out by 25 (or 30, or 40, for that matter). You’re allowed to change your mind, leave a job, or end a relationship that doesn’t feel right.
Be kind to yourself. Life is a work in progress, and so are you.
5. Lean on Your People
Don’t go through this alone. Talk to friends, family, or even a support group. Knowing other people are dealing with the same stuff can be super comforting.
6. Get Professional Help
Sometimes, you need more than a pep talk from a friend. A therapist like Lindsey Phillips, LPC, and Ben Smith, LPC at Evolve Counseling Fort Collins can help you work through your feelings, help discover what gives you meaning, and build the tools you need to move forward.
The Bigger Picture
A quarter-life crisis might feel overwhelming, but it’s also a chance to grow. It’s a moment to figure out what you really want, let go of what’s not working, and start building a life that feels right for you.
It’s not easy, but you don’t have to do it alone. Whether you’re reflecting on your goals, leaning on your support system, or working with a therapist, every step forward is progress.
So, slow down. Take a deep breath. And remember: you’ve got this.
At Evolve Counseling Services, we specialize in helping young adults through quarter-life crises. Whether you’re dealing with job stress, relationship issues, or just a general sense of “What now?” — we’ve got your back. We can help you talk through the struggles, and as well versed professionals in CBT, we can help create new and helpful habits.
