We’ve all done it at some point; something ticks us off, and the first instinct is to call a friend, blow up in a group chat, or fire off a rant on social media. It feels good in the moment to “let it out.” That’s venting in a nutshell: unloading your emotions so you’re not carrying them alone.
But here’s the real question: does venting actually help us feel better long-term, or are we just pouring gas on the fire? Research shows that the answer is a little more complicated than most of us think.
Does Venting Actually Work?
For years, psychologists leaned on something called catharsis theory. The idea was simple: if you release your emotions, you won’t have to bottle them up. “Better out than in,” as Shrek would say, right?
But as studies have dug deeper, it turns out venting isn’t always the magic fix it seems to be. Brad Bushman, a professor who has studied anger for decades, puts it bluntly: venting “is the worst thing you can do” when you’re mad. In his words, it’s like “adding more fuel to the fire.”
Bushman, a Professor at Iowa State University, in 2002, found that people who worked out while talking about what upset them didn’t actually cool down over time. Instead, they got more wound up. The more they talked and moved, the more their anger built. What was meant to be calming had the opposite effect.
On the flip side, studies also show that when people can share what’s bothering them without spiraling—sometimes even joking about it or finding humor in it—they often enjoy better mental health and more effective coping strategies. In other words, the difference isn’t just whether you vent but how you do it.
The Emotional Impact of Venting
If we’re being honest, venting feels good in the moment. Yelling in your car after a bad meeting or unloading on a friend might bring a sense of immediate relief. But short-term relief doesn’t always equal long-term emotional health.
Bushman explains that activities like meditation, yoga, or breathing exercises tend to calm the nervous system in ways venting just doesn’t. He points out that physical activities can be tricky: if you’re upset and then dive into something competitive, like basketball, you may not actually “cool off.” Chances are, you get more aggressive as the game heats up.
As he puts it: “You should be going on a run because you enjoy it, not because you need to ‘cool off.’”
That’s the emotional trap of venting: it can lock us into the very feelings we’re trying to escape. Instead of calming down, we might relive the frustration again and again until it becomes harder to let go.
Healthier Alternatives to Venting
So if venting isn’t the answer, what else can we do when emotions start bubbling up?
The truth is, healthier coping strategies often feel less satisfying in the short term. It’s easier to yell about what’s wrong than to sit quietly with your feelings. But over time, the slower, quieter practices are what actually help us reset.
- Mindful breathing or meditation. Slowing down your breath signals your nervous system that it’s safe to relax.
- Movement you enjoy. Walking, stretching, or running because you like it—not as an outlet for rage—helps release stress without fueling anger.
- Reframing with CBT techniques. This is where therapy shines. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) helps people recognize negative thought loops and challenge them with healthier perspectives.
- Humor and perspective. Finding ways to laugh at the situation or not take it so personally can break the cycle of rumination.
Of course, these skills don’t come naturally when you’re in the heat of the moment. That’s where practice—and sometimes professional support—makes the difference. Therapists at Evolve Counseling Services Fort Collins are experts at CBT and they help people all the time handling these same issues.
The Social Side of Venting
It’s not just about how venting affects you; it’s also about what it does to the people around you.
Think about the last time a friend called you and went off about their boss, their partner, or their day. Did it leave you feeling energized, or did it drag you down too? Venting can feel like connection, but it also risks putting strain on relationships if it happens too often or too intensely.
And then there’s social media. Today, venting doesn’t just stop at one or two close friends; it can quickly become a viral cycle of validation or criticism. Hundreds of comments telling you that you’re right (or wrong) can keep the negativity alive for days, if not weeks. Instead of moving on, the issue lingers in your feed, reminding you of what made you upset in the first place.
Even when we vent privately, the response we get matters. If you vent to a friend who just agrees with every angry thought you’re having in the moment, it can reinforce unhealthy thinking. What we actually need is someone who can listen with empathy but also gently challenge us or encourage us to cool down before reacting.
Why Negativity Can Feel Good
Here’s the paradox: sometimes it feels good to dwell on the negative. Psychologists point out that anger can give us a temporary sense of power or control. That’s why snappy comebacks or public rants can be so tempting. But those little “wins” often make us feel worse later, keeping us stuck in cycles of conflict or regret.
That doesn’t mean you should ignore hurt or injustice. If someone genuinely wronged you, it’s healthy to speak up. But the goal is to communicate clearly without letting it spiral into a back-and-forth contest of who can hurt who more. Sometimes, people find themselves feeling attracted to the feeling of being outraged or aggrieved and this just isn’t healthy for us in the long run.
Putting It All Together
At the end of the day, venting isn’t inherently bad; it just isn’t the cure-all we sometimes hope it is. It’s been shown that people who can vent without lingering also have less anxiety as they can find ways to move past the issue or not allow their mind to go down the rabbit hole of negative thoughts.
- Effectiveness of venting: It may feel relieving short-term, but research shows it can also reinforce anger and negative patterns.
- Emotional impact: Venting can intensify emotions rather than release them, especially when paired with aggressive outlets.
- Alternatives: Mindfulness, enjoyable exercise, humor, and CBT techniques are proven to reduce stress more effectively.
- Social dynamics: Venting can strengthen bonds when done in moderation with supportive people—but it can also drain relationships or spiral on social media.
Therapists don’t just sit back and let clients unload endlessly; they help people reframe, challenge unhelpful thoughts, and practice healthier coping skills. That’s the difference between just “getting it off your chest” and truly working through emotions in a way that makes life better.
If you’re looking for more than a quick fix—if you want lasting tools to manage stress, frustration, and negative thoughts—therapy can be a great place to start. At Evolve Counseling Services in Fort Collins, Lindsey Phillips, LPC, and Ben Smith, LPC, use evidence-based approaches to help people break unhelpful cycles and build resilience. And with teletherapy available, you can get help from anywhere.