Buying or selling a home often takes months, sometimes close to a year. During that time, emotions run high, stress builds up, and what should be an exciting milestone in your life can quickly feel overwhelming.
Recently, we sat down for a conversation with the founding agents at MCM Collective about this very topic and explored how Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) can help people stay mentally strong throughout the home-buying or selling process. We also talked about how realtors can support clients emotionally—not just logistically—so the entire experience feels less stressful and more manageable. In this post, we’ll share some of the practical strategies and insights that came out of that discussion.
When to Reach Out for Support
It’s normal to feel some stress during a big life change. But if you notice signs like:
- Arguing more with your partner
- Doom-scrolling listings late at night
- Second-guessing every choice
- Skipping meals or losing sleep
- Ignoring exercise or self-care
…it may be time to talk to someone. Counseling can give you tools to manage your stress, keep perspective, and help you feel confident in your decisions.
How CBT Can Help with Home-Buying Stress
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) can be a powerful tool that you can use during this process.
- Challenge anxious thoughts. Instead of spiraling about the “what ifs,” CBT teaches you to pause and look at the situation realistically.
- Stay grounded in the moment. A house listing won’t change no matter how many times you refresh it. CBT helps break that cycle of constant checking.
- Build “uncertainty tolerance”. Big life decisions come with risk. CBT helps you practice letting go of control so the unknown doesn’t feel so overwhelming.
Practical Ways to Manage Stress
A few simple techniques can help you to navigate the process.
- Thought Corral. Set a specific time each day to “let the stress out.” Write down worries, talk them through, and when the time is up, put them away and focus on other things.
- Perspective Shifts. Nothing is technically “good” or “bad.” It’s just something that happened. This mindset can reduce pressure on every decision.
- Uncertainty Practice. Get comfortable with not having all the answers right away. Life—and the housing market—rarely follows a perfect plan.
How a Realtor Can Support You
A good realtor like Blake and Kelly doesn’t just find houses—they help you manage the emotional side of the process.
- Clarify top priorities. Talk through what really matters to you before you start looking.
- Encourage open conversations. Especially if one partner is less assertive or tough topics like finances need to be discussed.
- Watch for power dynamics. Things like income differences or legal considerations can create tension. A realtor can help navigate these discussions respectfully.
When buyers don’t talk through things ahead of time, resentment can build. A supportive realtor asks the right questions early so you can avoid regrets later.
Remember What Really Matters
Comparison is another stress trigger—buying a house based on what someone else has rather than what fits your life. CBT reminds us that our value isn’t in our possessions. It’s in who we are, not what we own.
For example, one of the questions we ask at Evolve Counseling is “Why do people like you?” It is almost never because of their clothing, car, or house. It’s almost always something about their personality, their giving, or that they are easy to talk to. None of those things is a worldly possession.
You Can Do This, But You Don’t Have to Do It Alone
Buying or selling a home will always be a big deal, but it doesn’t have to take a toll on your mental health. With the right tools, support, and perspective, you can move through the process with less stress and more confidence.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, Evolve Counseling Services in Fort Collins is here to help. Lindsey Phillips, LPC, and Ben Smith, LPC, provide CBT and can help you, online or in person, build resilience, manage anxiety, and stay grounded during life’s biggest transitions.