The Holidays Are Here… and So Is the Stress
If we’re being honest, this season isn’t always as magical as the songs and commercials make it out to be. For a lot of people, the holidays feel more like a pressure cooker than a snow globe.
Between crazy schedules, gift demands, family expectations, and travel at its peak, it’s no wonder stress and anxiety spike this time of year, and with those alone, depression hits hardest. And believe us when we say you are not alone if this is something you’ve felt.
So let’s talk about some simple, real-life ways to keep your peace (and maybe even your joy) during the holiday madness.
Let Go of “Perfect”
Trying to pull off the “perfect” holiday—perfect gifts, perfect meals, perfect family photos—can leave you drained and disappointed. The truth? Perfection is a myth. No one’s holiday looks like a Hallmark movie behind the scenes, except those fake ones we see on social media.
Instead of obsessing over every little detail, ask yourself: What actually matters to me this season? Odds are, it’s not the matching napkin rings. It’s the time spent with people you care about, or maybe just getting a few quiet moments to yourself. If the pie burns or your lights won’t turn on, laugh it off. Those “oops” moments are usually the best stories and the ones you remember most when you look back.
What Holiday Stress Actually Feels Like
Holiday stress doesn’t always show up the way you expect. Sometimes it’s obvious, like snapping at your partner over something small. Other times, it hides in your body. Maybe your shoulders are constantly tense. Or you’re lying awake at night, running through your to-do list. Or you’re eating everything in sight… or nothing at all. There are many signs of stress during this time of the year.
- Feeling irritable or overwhelmed
- Headaches or upset stomach
- Trouble sleeping
- Feeling more emotional than usual
- Wanting to avoid people altogether
These symptoms are your brain and body waving a little flag that says, Hey, we’re maxed out. It doesn’t mean something’s wrong with you—it just means your stress bucket is full, and it’s time to lighten the load.
Why the Holidays Can Be So Hard
There’s no single reason people feel more stressed during the holidays, but there are a few big ones.
Money stress: Between the traveling to and from family and friends, to the food costs that skyrocket during the holidays, and the high, unrealistic expectations that we set for ourselves that our gift should be as good, if not better, or more expensive than the ones we will get. The amount of money that is spent during the holidays just continues to go up and become harder to keep up with.
Loneliness: Being apart from loved ones or feeling disconnected can hit harder during a season built around togetherness, especially when you’re just ending a relationship.
Grief: If you’ve lost someone you care about, the holidays can stir up a lot of emotions and memories, good and bad.
Pressure to do it all: We see everyone’s “highlight reels” on social media and forget that real life is way messier, and they are usually doing that with help.
Seasonal Depression: Less sunlight and cold weather can make moods drop even if everything else is going okay.
Family Drama: Yes, I said it! Because most people have it. The struggle of who’s coming, if they will like the decorations, the many different diets, how much food, did they bring a side? Your in-laws that you don’t always see eye to eye, and so much more.
What You Can Do About It
You can’t cancel the holidays (though we’ve all probably dreamed about it once or twice), but you can take steps to protect your peace.
1. Make a Plan—But Be Flexible
Write down what you actually need to do this season, and cross out anything that doesn’t matter. Be honest about your time and energy. If you’re already stretched thin, maybe skip the handmade wreaths this year. Good enough really is good enough.
2. Set a Budget (and Stick to It)
Overspending can leave you stressed for months after the tree comes down. Set a budget for gifts, food, and events, and try to keep things simple. Thoughtful doesn’t have to mean expensive. A handwritten card or a thoughtful homemade gift can mean more than a pricey watch or toy that will only be played with a few times and then lost under the bed or broken.
3. Say “No” When You Need To
You do not have to go to every holiday party or bake cookies for every single event. Protect your time like it’s gold (because honestly, it kind of is). Saying “no” can be an act of self-care. And I promise you, the party will go on with or without your delicious cookies.
4. Don’t Forget the Basics
Sleep, water, a few veggies, and moving your body – these are the first things to go during busy times, but they make a huge difference. Even just taking a walk or setting your phone down to breathe for five minutes can help reset your nervous system. The fewer electronics we have, the better.
5. Practice Being Present
We’re often so busy planning, shopping, and running around that we miss the actual moments happening in front of us. Try to slow down and notice small things: the smell of cinnamon, the laughter of a friend, the first snow, or even just five quiet minutes on the couch with a family album. These are the real gems of the season.
6. Don’t Overindulge
With the chaos and hustle and bustle of the holidays, hosting, spending, cooking, and overall long nights, it can be hard to stick to any kind of “diet” or even be cautious of what we are eating. However, if we snack and don’t properly fuel ourselves, it will make everything else we mentioned above that much harder.
7. Focus on What the Season Means to You
Whether it’s about faith, family, giving, or rest, clarify what matters most to you during the season. It’s easy to get swept up in what everyone else is doing. But if you can ground yourself in your own meaning, the holidays start to feel more purposeful and a lot less chaotic.
At Evolve Counseling in Fort Collins, we offer support from Lindsey Phillips, LPC, and Ben Smith, LPC, for navigating tough seasons like this. Whether you’re dealing with anxiety, family stress, or holiday blues, our team can help you work through it using tools like CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) and flexible online therapy sessions that fit your schedule.
You don’t have to go through this season alone. If you need a little extra support, we’re here.